The Progression of Reflection

  

    At the beginning of this week, I committed to running a total weekly distance of 50km in the mountains. I surpassed my goal by 5km, which infuses me with a new sense of strength, capability, and determination. I'm exceedingly eager to see where I can take this ability and how many more goals I can accomplish. Prior to this week, I was absolutely unaware I could successfully complete 55km running up and down mountains and through winding, technical trails. 

   Running, to me, has become the most lively defiance of mortality that I've been able to experience. In my old age, I'll be able to say that, while I had it, I used it. I didn't squander my youth by constantly waiting for the opportunity, instead, I created the opportunity. I want to be able to say that I didn't let the enormous burden of mortality prevent me from exerting my youth to the fullest. 

 Environmental integration is also a massive part of why I run and why I choose to identify as a "trail runner." When I'm immersed in the bellies of the rain forest, exerting myself and breathing heavy, I don't feel like an anomaly that's just passing through. For the period that I'm in a particular area, I feel an intimate connection to that landscape. This sounds a little woo woo, perhaps, but I'm of the conviction that simply because my sensory magnification doesn't allow me to see it, doesn't mean it isn't happening. We're in a perpetual state of symbiosis with the environments we're in. We just can't ordinarily detect it. 

  Of course, also, running simplifies and purifies life by removing the trivial exigencies and restoring the basic necessities. When you're out there on a long run, the only thing you're concerned with is ingesting oxygen, drinking a bit of water here and there, and moving. You can only be concerned with the fundamentals of existence. I think it's what you'd call a Pure Experience. An experience absolutely unadulterated by prejudice or pre-conception, you're just living in that moment engaged in that activity because there's absolutely nothing else you'd rather be doing. At least, that's how it is for me. 

 

Authenticity and Free-Will

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHT-xeU1LEk

  Heidegger introduced the identification of the "Dasein," the part of yourself you're probably most familiar with as you're lying in bed waiting for sleep to overtake you. Dasein is the "you" that examines yourself almost as a separate entity; it's often been identified as a spirit.

  As a social animal and in our modern predicament where we're forced into social institutions from kindergarten until grade twelve, it's easy to become a construct of your social environment; to let the opinions and definitions applied by someone else dictate your character. Of course, as a social primate, the idea of living authentically, or separate from the social consensus, weighs heavily on our shoulders.

  So how does one live authentically? According to Heidegger, the first step is asking the question "What does it mean to be?" Because in the pursuit of this often tantalizing, often enriching, and sometimes depressing, question, we must confront our own mortality and conjure up our own meaning. No one can live your life or die your death, it's entirely yours to live and die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tf6BS9B2pY

  Do humans possess true free-will? Or are our actions ultimately determined beyond our cognizance, giving the illusion of free-will? Personally, I'm a proponent of a sort of constrained-freedom idea, in that, at any given time the choices available to us are limited and our choice is determined by listless variables that likely operate sub-consciously and many that operate consciously.

  Furthermore, the ability to detect the contributing variables varies by the person. Some people are super-tuned, capable of detecting most of their motives and variables that factor into any given decision, whereas some people make immediate and irrational decisions in the absence of consideration. Given that mindfulness is a measurable skill, I'd assert that your level of active mindfulness would determine how "free" you are in deciding your actions.

 I think it intimately connects to what Heidegger identified as our "Dasein." The individual-awareness that we each independently possess, and how it can be trained. To illustrate a rudimentary analogy, imagine your dasein as a muscle. The more you exert your dasein and tread into previously unknown territory, the more resilient and tough it will become. As your dasein gradually becomes more resilient and tough, you'll begin to notice that you're consequently becoming more reflective about everything, from the minutiae of existence to the more grandiose exigencies of existence. 

 Certainly, there is always a limited pool of options for us to fish from, but as our dasein becomes increasingly competent, our fishing gear improves. We acquire sonar, an advanced fishing-rod and superior bait. We become able to select rather than allow, which fish we hook. 

The Progression of Pondering

  Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EB9avF1EXY

 The largest source of existential angst is the quest for purpose. It's a ubiquitous condition amongst humans, we seem to crave a meaning. Personally, when I was younger, the search for meaning weighed heavily on my shoulders and invaded every aspect of my existence. As I've grown older and actively pursued excellence in athletics and personal academic study, I've come to the conclusion that there is an important distinction to be made. There are two types of purpose, one of which being prone to fallacy: extrinsic and intrinsic.

   I've viscerally felt the connection we all have to the universe. I've spent much time amongst natural landscapes, breathing deeply and gazing at each and every inhabitant of these landscapes. Viscerally, I know we're all manifestations of the same source; perpetually locked in an everlasting cycle of forms, incessantly growing and decomposing. So, for me, a logical progression from there is that, through us, the universe acquires meaning and purpose. If it can be intrinsically-generated, then it exists.

   The confusion and anxiety I experienced when I was younger was a consequence of the notion that purpose is extrinsically-assigned. That we're each born with a destiny to fulfill. Indeed, the condition of purpose being an intrinsically-generated destiny is exceedingly liberating. Imagine if you were actually born into a pre-determined destiny, one which you had no agency in creating and were inevitably forced to follow. What a miserable, constraining existence an extrinsically-assigned purpose would be.

   I remember laying in bed at night sometimes frantically scrolling through potential "roles" I could fill. As though I needed to be the embodiment of some cerebral, cultural archetype. As I've come to intimately know myself through copious hours alone, I realize that the ego is extremely pliable. You could be a traveling bard one year, traveling through towns and strumming your favourite instrument, while the next year you could become an ultra-marathon runner. Of course, culture will tell you to buckle down, go to school, get a career, fill a role. Don't be silly, what're you? A hippy?!

 This existence, in this particular generation, is one of innumerable opportunity. Don't rush into university, you'll be so frequently bombarded with extrinsically-designated tasks that you'll be left scant time to discover your intrinsic nature. Discovering your intrinsic nature is fundamental to everything you will do in this life, it is the source from which you will proceed into everything you do. I've previously outlined many methods in which you can probe into your intrinsic nature, I do this purely as a service to you.

 The only inherent freedom you have in this existence is the ability to harmonize your mind and body to explore, learn, conquer and exert effort. After an arduous sentence in the public education system, I've realized we're doing it all wrong, especially in an era of amazing scientific progress. Humans are born naturally curious about the natural world. The absolutely most stifling thing you can do to this curiosity is to shove young humans into a classroom and force them to sit down and learn about the world through a book. The world is right there beyond the windows! Let them explore it! Isn't that a peculiar thing about our education system? It's absolutely devoid of experiential learning, which, in my opinion, is the most effective. I wouldn't assert that it's one or the other, a healthy balance of experience and book-studying would be much more conducive to progress.

Wander and Ponder #4

I like to provide a little musical-guidance with each of my articles. If you've read my writings before, you're probably already familiar with this. The song I choose to accompany the article with is the very song I mingled with in the writing of the exposition. So, if you'd like to experience the musical fornication that spawned this article, here you are:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H43YApDQheI

The idea of the static-self is riddled with fallacy. Firstly, if you aren't continually revising, improving and refreshing yourself then, by definition, you're stagnant. Secondly, life is a continual experiential evolution, as you're exposed to new environments, activities and ideas, you change. Thirdly, be aware that, due to our inherently social nature, the people that comprise your extended social-circle will often attempt to "profile" you, or put your entire character into a box. Perhaps you've consequently encountered resistance to your personal evolution due to this, I know I have and know many people who also have. Despite this, always remember, this resistance is a product of their own attachment to an idea or concept of who you are. A true friend will encourage and nourish your personal-growth.

I think in order to fluently and efficiently evolve you must develop a strong spiritual connection. Before I continue, I will clarify that to me, spirit translates to sensitivity of self. It's a particular sensitivity regarding your personal habits, patterns and behaviours. It involves periodically scrutinizing yourself by examining your current situation in regards to your habits, patterns and behaviours. For me, this process is executed through a lengthy wander, preferably in the morning and at night, with the assistance of my favourite herbal ally. This isn't the exclusive means of achieving this, obviously quiet and motionless meditation is conducive to this, strenuous endurance-based exertion often helps me, or simply just spending time by myself near a river with an open word document/journal is effective.

Perhaps I'm an idealist or naively optimistic but I think the most potent means of inducing wide-scale change is by altering or assisting individuals in their personal journey. By illuminating the means through which one can attain what Aristotle termed "The Good Life," I think you could effectively produce a culture of fulfilled people.

Of course, the route to a culture populated by fulfilled denizens is arduous and demands a high degree of effort on the part of every individual. You can't passively expect fulfillment to arrive on your doorstep like a curious squirrel. You must actively exert yourself, challenge yourself both mentally and physically and engage in enriching and stimulating dialogues with other humans while being accepting of dissent. Indeed, dissent is incredibly resourceful for advancing your own set of opinions. The trouble occurs when you reject and insult dissent or, even worse, insult the person offering the dissent.

To abandon that digression and return to my original point, I'd like to delve deeper into the nature of identity and self as a dynamic and perpetually-evolving-thing. The patterns of existence differ individually in terms of the content but the context is generally the same, and has been for most of human-existence. I think it intimately intertwines with the seasons, with the wobble and orbit of the Earth. As the warmer and more hospitable seasons arrive, I've invariably experienced a massive outpour of energy from my body and mind, all of my energy wants to be directed towards exploration, growth, and exertion. As the winter season arrives, which typically, for most of European history (which is where my ancestry derives from) indicates the coming of a harvest and stockpiling and consequently, a type of introverted hibernation.

 I think a substantial degree of our cultural ailments in regards to psychological maladies stems from this notion that spirituality is "woo woo nonsense," and that science can answer all questions. I'm far from anti-science, I'm a science enthusiast. I just also think that enthusiastic existentialism and philosophical inquiry still have a major role to play in assisting our journey's towards our ideal-selves: free from psychological ailment, free from stress and living completely fulfilled and content in our situations. It's very important to develop an acute sensitivity to yourself and your impact on others, to listen often, to your heartbeat, to feel what it is to be alive. To take your shoes off once and a while and allow your fundamental connection with the Earth to be restored. To breathe deeply, move often, think more, develop rationality and adopt a healthy amount of skepticism.

 Plato likened the absence of awareness to being dragged dangerously along by a horse-carriage. In the absence of sensitivity we often allow our circumstances and emotions to determine how we behave and think. This is a very dangerous threat, indeed, one which threatens our autonomy and diminishes our potential.