Wander and Ponder Entry #3

The recognition of my recent patterns of behaviour has been beginning to arise. A keen indicator of this would be my urge to walk. As the title of this entry would suggest, the most conducive activity to thoughtful reflection is an aimless walk, a lengthy wander. 

Over the past year, I've begun to recognize that my mind goes through energetic phases in which my desires steer towards strenuous exertion, activity, and play. The duration of these phases is usually,  based on recent observations, a month to three months. My phases seemingly reach a peak at the three month mark and then gradually transition into the next phase.

After those few months of exertion and outward expression I seem to fall into a type of introverted hibernation, in which I prefer to walk,  read, write and relax. This is a period of thoughtful reflection and thoughtful projection. A time to sort of analyze the mechanisms of my past behaviour and align my present for a fulfilling future. I think that this period has become an inevitability for me, a productive inevitability. 

Until now, it seems that this pattern has been happening without my agency. I've become a subject to my patterns rather than a master of them. Earlier this year when I was actively writing my blog I was performing an identification of these mechanisms. Following that period of identification I lapsed into a period  of unrestrained experience. I became a victim of these mechanisms. I suppose that period is conducive to the subsequent analyzation, perhaps even necessary for it. 

I think it's vital to subject your own patterns to scrutiny periodically. In the absence of periodic scrutiny you can become a victim to your patterns and if this persists for years you'll find yourself far into life in a position that is a product of habit and pattern-like behaviour. I think this is a pernicious threat to our emotional, spiritual and physical health. 

Employing the word "spirit" can often pit you in a confusing predicament. Spirit is one of those confusing words which meaning manifests in different forms to different people. Some believe that the spirit is this intangible essence that persists beyond death. Within this belief system you have sub fields. If it persists beyond death then it either incarnates in another physical form or it transcends this existence and moves into another realm. In other cases the spirit of everything is shared and universal. This is different from the other version because in the two systems I explained the spirit is an individual. In those other cases, however, the spirit is one with everything and every material manifestation of this universe is connected and inseparable. Furthermore, there are belief systems which intimately connect each of these beliefs and form a sort of unified system. 

Regardless of these established belief systems, there is something experiencing what the eyes see. There is something that is experiencing the phenomenon of existence. Although we like to imagine it as this separate and intangible essence, it's tethered to this being, indisputably. If you're body and mind are unhealthy or dissatisfied, so to is your spirit. This creates a bit of a conundrum because if our spirit were separate why does its stability so rely on our physical and mental well-being. Why can we become so snared by habit and ritual if we're supposedly this essence of consciousness that controls this incarnation?

Wander and Ponder entry #2

It seems that our, or at least my, energetic patterns are aligned with the environment in some mysterious and intimate way. It's as though my energy and desires are synchronized with the Earth's wobble, as the seasons change, the hormonal balance within my body invariably responds. During the summer it - it being my energy - grows into a vibrant wave, it's akin to the cycle of the trees. When the temperature and climate warm up my desire to assert and accomplish rises alongside it. 

Just as it rises with the climate,  so to does it gradually descend into the 'introverted hibernation' that I've now identified, an equally effective analogy is a sort of "character cocoon." This hibernation, as it were, begins near the end of September and around mid October it reaches it's steady state. Once in the steady state, where it balances and persists until the next rise, my desires steer towards calm walks, reflective thought, reading, writing, and meditation. The calm walk is a template for reflective thought and active meditation. Reflective thought is an inevitability after a strenuous or eventful few months, which occur during the summer. 

This pattern could plausibly become a source of confusion for many people. To follow the pattern smoothly requires sensitivity and a capacity to yield to your patterns. If it begins to occur in the midst of resistance or reluctance, you'll feel a strange sense of emptiness or inadequacy. It's normal and natural to experience a trough in your energetic patterns, you don't need to feel weak or defective. 

If you've set lofty goals for yourself which involve extreme and strenuous exertion, such as training for an event, don't feel weak when the energy isn't there. Especially if you've been exerting yourself for the past few weeks or months at exceptional levels. The pattern of existence is one with highs and lows, exertion and recuperation. Relent to the seasons and experience all the patterns of existence. 

Wander and Ponder

Sand People

We're literally a walking composition of our environment. We become products of the materials we consume, we are our nutrition. Perhaps this explains the strong and indomitable affinity that indigenous tribes harbour for their local environment, they are not only participants in their environment, they are their immediate environment.

The consequence of non-localized food is an apparent disconnect from the environment. We seem to be aware of the disconnect yet we're still snared by the disconnect, the evidence of this surrounds us, it's interwoven into our societal infrastructure. We value jobs above environmental stability, money above health, material above self. The fundamental structure of our society clearly indicates that we've gone slightly insane. The reason our insanity isn't blatant is because we create cultural consensus which enables behaviours that would otherwise appear ludicrous. We're literally allowed to temporarily poison ourselves (alcohol consumption) yet not allowed to relax with cannabis. We've literally allowed ourselves to meddle and menace with ecosystems in the pursuit of jobs.. If you remove your cultural blinders and just observe our actions as an animal of the environment, this is indisputably insane...

I'm not asserting our disconnect with the Earth is solely and directly attributed to our non-localized diet but I am suggesting it may play a key role. When you're foraging and eating within a radius that you are capable of travelling within, you feel the connection. If you're at least moderately active you can see and feel the difference your nutrition makes, and if you were a forager within your environment you'd have to be moderately active. You'd notice that when you eat a particular berry your energy soars. 

The molecules that comprise our entire form are constructs of our nourishment, our cells reproduce with the given materials. It would be logical to assert that if you're molecules are a construction of your surroundings, you'd have a fundamental connection with the area you inhabit. Your environment would come to rely on you to eat the berries, receive the nourishment and subsequently excrete the seed in another location, which enables the berry bush to extend its reach. You would become reliant on your environment to provide the nourishment. This is the symbiosis of life.